What Will Be, Will Be

AUTHOR : KHUSNUL KHOTIMAH

WHAT WILL BE, WILL BE

This morning, the sun shines so brightly. It draws an unusual code which only god who knows. The wind blows smoothly, the birds are singing and singing from one to another, and the clouds are dancing around the sun. Trees also get involved to celebrate that morning. They wave left and right.  But, that still becomes a nasty morning for a girl who still hugs her bolster and dreams on the bed. She was Shelly, a pretty girl with wide brown eye, long black wavy hair and brown skin. She has average tall like generally teens. She is clever and has big interest in science, especially in anatomy. Thus, after graduating, she takes doctor faculty at one of famous University in her city.

A familiar and strong sound from the corner of her bedroom is disturbing her fast asleep. Yeah…that is the sound of her alarm clock which has unique and sweet design, pinky Mickey Mouse clock. She also hears the familiar voice from woman that she loved.

“Shellyyy..! Wake up dear…!” says her mother smoothly with knocking the Shelly’s room door.

“I know that actually you had gotten up at down prayer time. Don’t lock and lock yourself in the room all day, dear,” continue her mother.

There is no answer from inside. Her mother is so worried about Shelly. Almost a week she is absent for going to campus. Shelly is still shock with what had happened. It’s like a shock therapy for her. She becomes depressed and prefers to lock herself at room. Shelly had deep depressed after her fiancé died because of terrible accident.

“Okay dear, I will let you stay alone… I hope today I will look you as Shelly, my cheerful daughter, like before…!” says her mother as she leaves the rooms.

Not too long after her mother left, she opens her eyes slowly. She cannot restrain her tears fall from his beautiful eyes. She still can’t believe that her fiancé had passed away. It’s like a dream that she hopes when she opens her eyes, it will be over.  But in a fact, it is a reality that she has to face. Yeah… that’s a nasty reality. Although after having down prayer she always prays for her former fiancé and promises to herself to not be sad again, but she doesn’t be able to do it.

Finally, she decides to get up and then she gropes around the bed, looking for her phone. Suddenly, she reaches a note book. That’s her diary. Later, she opens and finds a letter inside.

Depok, 2^nd January 2002

Dear Shelly,

How are you? I hope you still remember me. May be there are many questions in your mine and may be you’re very surprised that an obstinate person sent you a letter and disturbed your new day in this New Year.

Well, I’ll tell you something that I want you to know. I think you realize that I always care about you. But do you know the reason why I care about you? It’s because I like you. I love you.  I cannot get out your shadow from my mind.

I don’t know why I can be attracted to you. May be because of your sweet and lovely face, or may be because you’re sympathetic or even because of your warm and cheerful personality. I don’t know … I just want to tell you about my feeling. Perhaps, you will be angry or even hate me. It’s up to you. I’m relieved that I’ve told you this, though only by this letter you must know, your charm can never be forgotten.

At last, please forgive me if there are words you don’t like. I wish you’re very happy New Year.

Thanks for reading my letter.

Bye,

Love, Raka

Her tears drop harder. Suddenly, she misses Raka so much and can’t stop thinking about him. Raka. A very nice boy whose letter she just read.He is a sensitive boy, but he has a great sense of humor. And that’s why she was attracted when she first met him three years ago. She continues reading her diary. By this time, Shelly becomes remembering her first time meeting with Raka. Everything was begun from her preparation to enter at her wanted university.

******

She woke up late. She jumped up from her bad and got into bathroom. Her mother was warning her to not hurry.

“Be calm dear..! It is just six o’clock. Don’t be hurry.”

“Please mom…! It is my day to have registration. I must be on time, even in time is better,” replied her while tooth brushing in bathroom.

“I had suggested you not to go to bed again when you had done your down prayer dear.”

“But I feel so sleepy mom,” answer Shelly as she goes out from bathroom.

“Okay dear… I see. Let u have a dress as beautiful as your face today and don’t forget to eat your breakfast. It is so important.”

“Yaps… I am ready my beloved mother whom I love the most in this world,” she said with sweet smile. Then she gave her mother a little kiss.

Fifteen minutes later, Shelly was ready with read clothes, blazer and jeans. She looked so fresh and beautiful. Suddenly her hand phone was ringing. There was one message from his best friend. Then she opened and read that message.

            From: Diga

Shelly, don’t forget, today we havean important registration. I’llwait you at

Hall, meet me there. Hopefully, today we can our best. Good luck foryouand forme,

hehehe… See you.

Shelly replied that message and directly went to dining room for having breakfast with hermother and father. Soon after that at six thirty, she took leave to her parents and asked for their praying.

“Be careful dear…! Don’t forget to fill your registration carefully!” said Shelly’s father.

“Good luck my lovely girl. Hopefully you can reach what you want, dear…!” advised her mother.

“Pray for me mom and dad. I’ll do my best for you. I promise and I’m so excited now,” said Shelly.

As she rode her motorcycle, her parents waved their hand to Shelly. In the middle of her way to registration place, she felt something wrong with her motorcycle. Suddenly her motorcycle stopped. She got into a panic. She was afraid to come late at the registration time. She didn’t know to whom she had to ask helping.

“Hello… can I help you?” someone addressed her. Perhaps he was sorry for her, for being confused because her motorcycle was broken.

“Thanks,” she said, “but I think this motorcycle must be fixed in a workshop,” she answered him with a little despair.

Without talking, he came toward her motorcycle and began to check it. She let him do that. But then she couldn’t stop musing. She could imagine the exhausting time. She should go through in the queue later. It was an annual activity for graduate students from High School to continue their study in the university. Like her, she had to fill out the registration-form that day in Hall of that University. She had to come early, but that broken motorcycle had made her late.

Suddenly, her day dream was cut short by somebody’s laughter.

“I think you forgot to fill the tank. It is empty; no petrol in it. So it is not surprising if your motorcycle can’t run,” he said with a big smile on his face.

“What?” she was surprised. “Oh my god…! How silly I am,” she grumbled. Then with a red face and feeling ashamed, she walked and looked for the petrol-seller. She didn’t realize that she hadn’t even said thank you.

She was certainly right! When she arrived at hall, the place was in chaos. She had to crowd. She was looking forDiga and found him standing near the entrance. Diga is tall and handsome boy. He is smart and calm. Everyone who is near him will feel comfortable and happy.

“Hay…! Where are you from? I’ve waited you so long,” said Diga.

“I’m sorry. I have a little trouble with my motorcycle. That’s why I just come,” she replied.

“What’s wrong?” asked Diga.

“I forget to fill the tank,” said Shelly ashamedly.

“Hahaha…Shelly, Shelly…! I know that you’re too excited to encounter this registration today. Eeyyy… you don’t forget to wear your cloth, do you?” teasing Diga.

“Hehe… just one word for you boy ‘you’re really something’,” Shelly whispered to Diga.

“Haha… forget about your sweet trouble. Let we queue!”

Huuhhft… the place was in chaos. Shelly and Diga had to crowd with other people in the queue. What an exhausting day! You could imagine how tired Shelly after standing 6 hours in the queue before she could pass all the registration procedures.

“Do you want a bottle of orange juice? You look so pale,” asked Diga.

“That would be lovely,” answered Shelly.

“Okay, wait me there Shelly!”

Shelly was sitting on a bank, wiping away her sweat. Strange, she thought, there was a big fan but it could make her sweat. Suddenly, there was someone who came to her.

“Hi… is your motorcycle broken again?” someone asked Shelly. Oh… that boy again. He stood at her side and smile rather ashamed. I shook my head. “Thanks for your helping this morning.”

“Never mind,” he smiled again.” My name is Raka. And you?”

“I’m Shelly,” she replied. Then they talked about anything.

From this conversation, she found out that Raka was a student in the technical Faculty of that university and he was also member of the registration committee. In the middle of their conversation, Diga was coming.

“Hi Shelly it’s your orange juice. By the way, who is he, Shelly?”

“Okay thanks. Let me introduce you to him. He is someone who helped me this morning. Raka, this is Diga and Diga, This is Raka.”

“Hi, how do you do,” said Digathen shook his hand with Raka.

“How do you do,” replied Raka. “Is he your boyfriend Shelly?”

“Oh no no… we are best friend. Diga is my childhood friend.”

“Hehe… I’m sorry; I supposed that you and he are couple. Okay, enjoy your day at this university. I have to go now. See you all…!” said Raka as he left them.

So, after that day they knitted their friendship and finally she was accepted at that university. Diga was also accepted.Shelly and Raka became closer and closer. But there was someone who didn’t like the closeness of Shelly and Raka, Citra, yes Citra didn’t like so much with every person who was close with Raka. She was in the same level with Raka.

The day passed and Raka became part of her life instead of Diga. When she was unhappy he always cheered her up. When she was lonely, he was always there to accompany her. He always cared about her and made her happy. Diga also showed unusual things. He has more attention to her than before. Every time he knew she was with Raka, he tried to involve with them. He did what Raka did. They made her confused. Later she realized that there was a hidden something in their very nice attention to her.

Diga showed up his feeling to her just after a week Raka showed up his feeling. Diga told his feeling by phone. Shelly was shock by having that two good news for her. But it became bad news because she was trapped into dilemmatic situation. Diga was her best friend that she ever had since she was child. He was always by her side every time she needed. She didn’t suppose that he had hidden his feeling for a long time. But so far, she never thought about him as more than just a friend. Raka was a person that made her heart beats so fast. She can’t disown that she really admired that boy. She thought hard to make the best decision for both herself and them.

Her mind screamed. If she received Raka, Diga would be pained. She didn’t want to break her friendship with Diga. But, if she received Diga, she would give Diga a deceptive love. It meant that she lie about her feeling and missed to get her love which she didn’t get for a long time. “Am I too arrogant if I want to get mylove?” asked her heart. Oh… her mind was fighting with her heart. She couldn’t lie to herself that she was attracted with Raka since they met for the first time.Dream came true. She decided to go away from them for a while. She wanted to calm down her mind and heart. She wanted to think limpidly.

She felt a sorrow week that was running slowly. She always avoided meeting with Raka or Diga. She wanted to escape from the fact, but she couldn’t. Then she came upon to Rara, her classmate, to ask her opinion about her complicated problem.

“So, what do you think about my problem, Ra? Do you have any solution? I really need it,” asked Shelly.

“Well, I think I support you to receive Raka’s feeling. But you cannot ignore Diga’s feeling. Don’t hurt your best friend. I know that you’re the first for Diga. Diga has told me that he never has special feeling to someone. That’s just for you, just for you,” answered Rara.

“Huuufft…don’t make me confuse a lot, Ra. I have passed a terrible week and I don’t want to have second terrible week. I must make my decision. What should I do???” Shelly began crying.

“Oouw… please don’t cry girl! Okay… you must be sure about your heart, feeling and mind. Then make your decision and let you meet them one by one. If you choose Diga, explain to Raka as smooth as you can about your reason. If you choose Raka, you must be ready for all of the consequence for being a popular person’s girlfriend in this campus, including ready for Citra’s threat.  And once more, you must keep your friendship with Diga.”

“I’ve got it,” said Shelly slowly.

“What do you mean? You’ve got your decision?” replied Rara surprisingly.

“Hufft…terror from Citra I mean. But I try to not care with that,” said Shelly.

“Hey…come on girl! Be spirit, just take it easy, right? Enjoy this lovely life!” replied Rara enthusiastically.

“Yaps! You were right! Just take it easy. Okay, thanks dear for your advice, muuuach,” said Shelly happily.

All night Shelly thought about her problem. He did what her friend had suggested to her. She felt more relax than before. And she had made her decision. Tomorrow would be a hard day for her.

The decision day was coming. She decided to meet Diga first. She felt so nervous and didn’t know what to say. She was speechless.

“Shelly…? Are you still here? You seem daydreaming,” said Diga. That voice aroused Shelly from her daydreaming.

“Yee.e.es.s… I’m here,” replied Shelly shockingly.

“So, what do you want to say to me? Is it related with my feeling to you, Shell?” asked Digasmoothly.

Wow… that question was like a thunder in a sunny day. Shelly was embarrassed. She couldn’t avoid it, she has to face it.

“Hem …yes, you’re right. I want to discuss it with you. I hope you will respect about anything that I’ve decided,” said Shelly explicitly.

“Of course …! You’re free to decide what you want. I’m sorry for this one. I can’t hold this feeling. Time to time, my love feeling becomes stronger. I try to ignore it. But, I can’t lie and lie to myself. It’s enough for me to hide away this feeling, shell,” said Diga seriously.

Shelly was trapped in a dilemmatic situation again. ‘Oh my god,Diga’s words make me melt. He has hidden away his feeling to me so long. Why don’t I realize it earlier? Ah, how fool I am. Now, do I’ve the heartto say?’ screamed her heart.

“Shelly???,”asked Diga.

“Yes,”said Shelly spontaneously.  “Ouwh… I’m sorry.”

“You look so different today. You’ve daydreaming a lot. Shelly… I actuallyhave known that Raka also has the same feeling like what I feel to you.

“What??”said Shelly by lifting her head.

“Yeach… yesterday, unintentionally, I heard Citra talked about it. I was really shock. Then, I begin to know why you avoid me this recently week. You know? I so regret why I didn’t show up my feeling earlier. Now, it is according to you to decide what you want. I won’t force you. I’ll let you free to choose”, explained Diga.

“Hem… okay!Digaa, we have known each other since we’re child. You’re so worth for me. You’re friend in need and indeed. Thanks for your big love for me. I also really love you, but only as friend, as my beloved brother. No more. I am so sorry. I know you’re disappointed to me. But, that is the truth that I must tell to you and I hope we’re always be best friend forever,” said Shelly politely.

“That’s okay. Never mind Shelly. At least, I’ve shown my feeling and you know it. May I ask you something?”

“I’m glad to hear that. Of course! What do you want to ask?”

“But sorry if you’re disturbed with my question. How about Raka? Emm… you don’t need to answer this question if you don’t want.”

“Eemm…ouufft…(She took deep breath) after I thought all week, I’ve decided to accept him. I was attracted since I met him, Dig. But don’t be angry to me, please!” her tears began falling down.

“Please, don’t cry honey! I can’t bear to see it. I understand. You look so happy when you’re beside him. Sorry for my feeling which disturbs your feeling to him. Let you get his love,” said him while calming Shelly down.

“Thanks. I am more relaxed after knowing your response. Once again, thanks, thanks and thanks so much for your understanding.”

Shelly left Diga with free of worry feeling. In contrast, Diga felt a deep pain, but he didn’t show it in front of Shelly. He wanted to see her best friend whom he loved find happiness. He would love her by his way in a silent way.

Shelly met Raka and said that she accepted Raka’s feeling. Raka was so happy for hearing it. It was like a dream.

“ouww…really Shelly? I don’t know what I’ve to say. I lose my words,” said Raka excitedly.

“Yes, I mean it. Hem, don’t you hear something about me?”

“Something? What is it? I really don’t know about that,” replied Raka.

“Hem, it’s nothing. Forget it! That’s no important,” Shelly smiled to Raka. She canceled her plan to talk about Diga. She didn’t want to break this happiness moment. She thought she would tell Raka later.

“Are you sure that it’s not important?” asked Raka.

“Yes, I’m sure,” replied Shelly briefly and smoothly.

The day after Shelly accepted Raka, Citra began to disturb her. Sometimes, she broke Shelly’s motorcycle. Sometimes, she intimidated her with her group. But Shelly kept silent. She never told Raka about it as long as she could face it by herself. Until there was a bad accident which was made by Citra to make Shelly broke her relationship with Raka. She made a plane with her group. She locked Shelly in one laboratory and she made the room into smoked situation. It looked as an accident because of error function. Shelly tried to shout as loud as she could. But no one heard because that laboratory was located in third floor. In addition, the situation was so desolate. Unluckily her phone battery was low, she couldn’t make any phone. She felt breathless. She was unconscious.

When she opened her eyes, she felt confused. She felt terrible headache.

“Shelly… oh thanks god, you’re conscious”, said Rara.

“Are you okay dear? I’m so afraid,” said Raka.

“What had happened? Where am I?”

“You are found unconscious in Laboratory. What are you doing there?” asked Rara astonishingly.

“ouh …yes I remember it now. There was a phone from private number that asked me to come at that Lab. He told that it is very important. Just that and he ended his call. When I arrived, there was someone who locked the door and the room became smoked. I tried to ask helping but no one heard,” explained Shelly. “Who saves me?”

“Diga. He looked there was something wrong at third floor and he went upstairs. He saved you and brought you here,” answered Rara.

“Once again thanks, Dig. You’ve saved Shelly. And I’m sorry Shelly. When you needed me, I was not beside you,” said Raka regretfully.

“Don’t mention it,” said Diga.

“Thanks Diga. I don’t know what will happen if you don’t help me. By the way, why are you so quiet today?” said Shelly.

“Me? I am just as usual I am. Sorry, I’ve to go now. Get well soon Shelly and be careful next time because I think it’s not pure an accident. There is someone who doesn’t with you!” said Diga flatly as he left them.

Shelly was shock. It was not because of there was someone who doesn’t like with her, but it was because of Diga’s intonation when he was speaking to Shelly. She thought that Diga become farther apart. He was still kind like before, but Shelly felt that he was phlegmatic. Shelly tried to refuse her negative thinking to Diga.

“I think Diga is right. It’s unusual accident. I will investigate it,” said Raka.

“Yeah… I agree with you,” said Rara.

Two weeks after that accident, everything was clear. Citra was found out as an actor behind that. She was almost dropped out from that university. But because of kindness and effort from Shelly, she saved from DO although in advance Raka opposed Shelly. Raka couldn’t refuse a request from person whom he loved so much. Since that, Citra had good relationship with Shelly. She was so thankful with what Shelly did and she said sorry to Shelly. She regretted for doing that. She couldn’t differ between true love and ambition to get someone.

Time passed without paying attention. It was almost three years then, Raka and I decide to be engaged. But in other side, Diga and I had become farther and farther apart. We only talked occasionally. He always seemed busy with his work every met with her. He also rare visited her house. Shelly realized it. She decided to go campus to talk with Diga. But first, she wanted to meet with Raka. She didn’t know why she so missed Raka so much.

“Shelly…”, someone’s voice surprised her. It was Yudi, Raka’s close friend.

“Hello Yudi! Do you know where Raka is?” she asked him.

“So, you don’t know that Raka …” he said slowly. And there was misery on his eyes. Shelly could see it. She got into panic.

“Why? What’s going on? Where is Raka?” Shelly worried.

“He…Raka had an accident. Now he’s in hospital. He’s been unconscious sincelast night,” Yudi replied.

“Raka!” her heart cried, she was liked losing all of his power. ’Why did it happen?God… please save him. Don’t let him go. Oh, God please help him’ she prayed in her mind then She felt faint.

“Shelly…Shelly…,”called Rara while crying. Shelly opened her eyes slowly then began crying.

“hiks…hiks…Raka. I want meet Raka. I want meet him, Ra.”

“Calm down dear! Have you felt better? If yes, let we go to hospital,” said Rara.

At the hospital, she saw raka lying on the bed with a red bandage around his head. She looked so peaceful in his rest. Not too long after Shelly came, Diga also came hurriedly. He saw Shelly tried to talk with Raka.

“Raka…,” she whispered,” it’s me, Shelly.”

“Don’t go Raka. Please… don’t leave me!” her tears dropped harder.

As though he heard her voice, suddenly he opened his eyes slowly and stared at her. She saw happiness in his eyes. She saw how honest and sincere he was, and she couldn’t stop crying.

“Raka…,” she said softly, “I love you”.

He looked around and said,”Diga, please take care Shelly for me! He smiled weakly and then… he closed his eyes. Silent…

God… he’s gone. Raka, the boy who loved her and whom she love, had gone forever. He left her with her broken heart.

******

Softly she hears the song One Sweet Day from Mariah Carey. It touches her heart.

“… and I know you’re shining down on me from heaven

Like so many friends we’ve lost along the way

And I know eventually we’ll be together (together)

One sweet day…”

She closes her diary and her tears begin to drop. Suddenly, my mother knocks the door.

“Dear… Diga is coming. He waits you at living room.’

“Yes, mom,” I say andwipe my tears.

Diga is close with her since Raka passed away. He always gives her spirits and tries to be by her side as Raka’s message before he closed his eyes. Time to time they become closer.

It’s almost one year since Raka had passed away. Shelly can do her activity like before. But, sometimes she is crying when she remembers it. One day, she asks Diga to accompany to Raka’s resting place. After finishing it, they take a rest under tree in one park.

“Shelly!”says Diga begin their dialogue.

“Yes,” she replied as she turns on her head to Diga.

“May I ask you something??”

“Of course!” said Shelly.

“You know… I still keep my sweetest feeling to you in my heart. It doesn’t keep changing. I tell the truth Shelly. I never lie about it. Shelly… may I fill out your heart? “SaysDiga slow but sure. “But you don’t need to answer now”.

Shelly keeps silent. She thinks about it.,” Yes, Diga,” she finally answers. “May be it’s our fate. What will be, will be. I’m sure that Raka will be happy if I’m with you. I always remember his last words.” says Shelly while she smiles to Diga.

That twilight becomes a beautiful moment for both of them. The reddish scratch in the sky, added with the sunset, build a romantic situation. They look far ahead as if they were feeling the future.

--- THE END---